Slaughtering of the past, the present and the future.
So, my This is Me Pro got slaughtered. Surprise, surprise.
Anna, my personal tutor, picked it to pieces. Sometimes I feel like I really can’t do anything right. I’m trying to do different things to everyone else and not follow the crowd, yet others get praised for some of the most shambolic pieces of work, where as I get criticised for every little thing. Sometimes it would be nice for someone to say a simple ‘well done’, even if it is just for trying. I know my This is Me Pro isn’t amazing and has more flaws than I can even bear to count. It’s not revolutionary in any way, shape or form. I’m not saying that what my tutors say isn’t justified, because I agree with them wholeheartedly. But sometimes, I just need that little bit of encouragement every now and then. That little shining light to tell me that I am not fucking up my career and life, by chasing a hopeless dream of being a designer or motion artist.
I have always been really strong when it comes to my work. When past tutors have said to me that something I made was crap, I found it a challenge to better myself and would almost always get a ‘Yeah that looks great! That’s so much better!’ response. I reveled in showing my tutors what I am made of. But now, I am not getting that whatsoever and it’s really affecting me! There is only so much criticism that I can take!! My confidence in doing Design and Moving Image is severely plummeting and it wasn’t even high in the first place. I get so bloody nervous posting anything I have done on here. It makes me feel sick thinking that any one of you could be looking at the work I have done and are thinking how shit it is. Let alone showing it to my tutors and having my work massacred right in front of me.
So now, I would be working on developing my This is Me Pro project, however I have only 892mb of Hard Disk left on my Mac and 344mb left on my 500GB external drive. Which means I can’t do anything to the project without After Effects and Final Cut Pro telling me that I have have no space left for rendering. So I am having to wait for my 1TB external HD to be delivered so I can continue with that.
On top of that, had a first meeting with You Ting and Ni about the Kodak Project today. These are the screen shots from the footage we have:
Guess what? Our tutors slaughtered what had been done too. Maybe it’s just a me thing?!
Also! I’ve got to start thinking about and researching a personal project that I want to do after the Kodak project. I want to do some pixelation. But to be honest, I’m hardly stoked for it because I know no matter what I do, it will be metaphorically shat on.
Apologies for any swearing.
Heya Antonia! I know how you feel about needing to have a bit more encouragement rather than just having people say something isnt very good. Truth be told, i quite liked the style of your This is me film, although maybe the voice over could have sounded a bit more happy and excited with doing it.
Sounds like you need a bit of a pick-me-up. I think that you should focus on things that you, yourself want to achieve and produce and not worry so much about what your tutors say. I understand they are the ones marking the final work, and also are the so-called “experts” but there have been many times in history when the “experts” have got something wrong.
Just remember, although a good grade helps when you leave university, its the portfolio you are able to put together that will get you noticed. Including what you do outside of university.
I watched Reiss’ little film which showed the process of you all doing the Kodak film, it looked like a lot of fun, especially using the old camera, thats what it is mainly about, enjoying yourself and learning new (and old) skills for the future. There is plenty of time to be serious (or silly) later.
So basically what i was trying to say throughout all of that is – Don’t let what a couple of tutors have said put you down, go for it, if it is what you want! 😀
Wow, Tom can be nice when he wants to. I bet it pained him to be so nice though haha.
But anyway, 1. you was saying that old camera could far outdo the quality of recent slrs? Aaahahahahaha. (sorry) 😀
It sounds like if you yourself are embarassed to show your work then try and do something you wouldnt normally do. Something completely different. That doesn’t mean start painting instead of design and motion but try working at a different angle.
I know exactly what you mean about some people getting an easy ride for their work but your teachers sound ‘arty’ and ‘conceptual’, which I can’t stand, unless they have solid work to show that.
Im kind of feeling the same as you at the moment, don’t really know what im going to do when I leave, started learning Cinema 4d to add some new elements to my work, thats about the only exciting thing at the moment.
Chin up though, need to go on a phototrip.